PND STORY

Posted by LORNA

AFTER THE SUDDEN DEATH OF MY DAUGHTER, I FELL PREGNANT,FOOLISH OR NOT IT HAPPENED. HE WAS VERY MUCH WANTED. AFTER A LONG LABOUR I HAD AN EMERGENCY SECTION. HE WAS TAKEN AWAY AFTER A SHORT WHILE TO SCBU AS HE HAD A SLIGHT CHEST INFECTION, I DID NOT CARE BUT PUT IT DOWN TO THE SURGERY ETC. I GOT HIM BACK AFTER A DAY OR SO BUT ASKED THE NURSES TO TAKE HIM AWAY AGAIN, I SAID AGAIN AND AGAIN THAT I DID NOT FEEL ANYTHING FOR HIM, BUT IT FELL IN DEAF EARS.

AT HOME I TRIED BUT IT GOT HARDER AND HARDER TO DO ANYTHING, MY OTHER DAUGHTER AGED 5 LOST HER MUM COMPLETLY THEN, I WAS NOT THERE FOR ANYONE. I WAS IN MY OWN WORLD OBLIVIOUS TO THE EVERYDAY THINGS GOING ON.

I STARTED ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS BUT THESE DID NOT DO MUCH. I FELT MORE AND MORE SUICIDLE EVERYDAY. WE WENT ON HOLIDAY TO THE SEASIDE, AND FOUND MYSELF STANDING AT THE HARBOURS EDGE, THINKING HOW BETTER THE WORLD WOULD BE WITHOUT ME, BUT SOMETHING MADE MY SON CRY IN HIS PRAM BESIDE ME AND BROUGHT ME TO MY SENSES. BACK HOME I ATTEMPTED TO CUT MY WRISTS, THIS WAS THE FINAL STRAW FOR MY GP. I WAS ADDMITTED TO A PSYCIATRIC HOSPITAL. I GOT OUT THE NEXT DAY BUT ENDED BACK IN AFTER A FEW DAYS. AFTER A FEW WEEKS AND
A FEW CHANGES OF ANTIDPRESSANTS MY SON CAME IN WITH ME. BUT AFTER A NIGHT HE HAD TO GO. I COULD NOT COPE. TIME PASSED AND I TRIED AGAIN, THIS TIME IT WAS OK. HE STAYED IN WITH ME AND AFTER EIGHT LONG HARD WEEKS I GOT HOME.

IF THERE WAS ONE THING THAT I WOULD SAY WOULD HELP IS TAKING, TALKING AND MORE TALKING, ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS NOT CRAZY OR MENTAL BUT NORMAL FOR PND.

I AM NOW PREGNANT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE MORE AWARE OF WHAT TO LOOK FOR AS AM I. I HAVE JUST STARTED ON ANITDEPRESSANTS AND HAVE SEEN A PSYCIATRIST JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE. SO FAR I AM FINE. SO HERES HOPING, BUT AT LEAST THIS TIME I HAVE PEOPLE AROUND WHO WILL HELP ME AND UNDERSTAND. SO...WATCH THIS SPACE, I WILL LET YOU KNOW.