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Recognise your symptoms. Try to accept that you are suffering from postnatal depression or anxiety in the same way you would need to accept having any other form of illness.
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Believe that it isn't your fault. It is a well recognised condition that many women suffer after childbirth. Remind yourself of this if you start to feel guilty about it or that you should be OK. You cannot help feeling as you do.
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Talk about it - to your partner, family, friends, and other mothers, a support group or counsellor. Be honest about how you are feeling and try not to bottle it up. Share with those who listen and make you feel supported. It helps to relive painful experiences several times, to have a good cry and to talk things through. This is the mind's natural healing process.
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Tell your health visitor and doctor. The doctor should be able to refer you to a counsellor and may offer you hormone treatment or anti-depressants if necessary. Make your own decision about what to take based on advice and information. You can always ask for further help and see a woman doctor if you prefer.
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Take pressure off yourself. This may mean learning to say no to people or events that are not helpful. For most women it also means lowering your usual standards and expectations. If you can do this, then you are likely to feel less stressed, less tired and more able to cope. Take one day at a time, rather than thinking ahead. Most of all don't push yourself. Recognise that this is a vulnerable time for you and try to go gently through the day listening to what you need.
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Ask for help. For many women this is difficult, as we tend to see ourselves as the ones who care and give to others, but you need to receive some care now in order to recover. That might be in the form of practical help such as childcare or cooking, or it might be emotional support like having a good talk. However much people want to help, they cannot always guess what you need, so it is important to ask and give them the chance to do it for you.
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Seek company. Sitting at home with children tends to make anxiety and depression worse. So seek out friends, other mothers, baby groups and child-friendly places to go. Try to get out in the morning and develop some positive routines in your week where you will be with others.
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Eat regularly. This can be small meals and healthy snacks that will help to stabilise your mood and give you energy. Drink plenty of fluids and if you can avoid caffeine (as in tea and coffee) and too much alcohol.
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Get as much sleep and rest as you can - often this may mean you putting it above housework or other duties, but it will result in you feeling more stable and well.
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Try to keep active. Try to go out each day for some fresh air and exercise like swimming or walking. It will help calm your mind and you will sleep better.
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Find ways to relax. Take some space from the children if you can leave them with someone. Try a bath with essential oils, a massage or yoga class - whatever help you to let go and unwind.
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Appreciate yourself. Being a mother is an important and difficult job. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Try to recognise your positive qualities and the things you do well.
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Do something for yourself everyday. Give yourself a treat or do something you enjoy. You deserve it!
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