Although men don’t have to deal with body changes and fluctuating hormone levels, you have your own worries and concerns-exhaustion, lack of sleep, changes in routines, household chores, lack of intimacy, concerns for your partners needs. You may be feeling rejected emotionally and sexually by your partner as she tries to juggle the extra demands on her time and her body. You may feel hurt, frustrated, or angry if she is hostile, defensive or irritable (a common symptom of depression), or if she seems unable to accept any suggestions or constructive criticism.

Fathers can find their partner’s irritability and withdrawal from physical affection more difficult to cope with than the depression itself. Fathers can feel pushed out because of the bond between mother and baby and perceive their baby as a rival, which they then feel guilty about. You may find it hard adjusting to taking second place in your partner’s affections.

You may feel pressure to provide extra money and emotional support for your partner and baby.

Anxiety, being tearful, feeling hopeless and a failure as a parent or partner are common symptoms, but it is often easier for men to act out this helplessness and anger. Resentment can surface putting extra strain on their relationships. It may also lead to you feeling violent towards your partner.

Download our Fathers Matter leaflet for more information.

  Fathers Matter Leaflet (PDF format, approx. 220kb)